Bleh

Yeah, that's about how I feel: bleh.

I had these visions of grandeur for the blog while I was in the US, that I'd write many updates of a paragraph or two every day or so. Almost like a running diary. And then, well, stuff happened. A lot of stuff. Not that that's a bad thing, so I'm not exactly overwhelmed with regret. Yet my last entry on this thing was on my first day in the US. And now I'm back in Sydney, over three weeks later. Bit of a gap there.

It's strange, as the trip came to an end, I found myself really not looking forward to coming back. I mean, it was the end of my vacation! And unless you're in Vegas, Amsterdam or Trona, CA, you can never have too much of a vacation. But then I thought, I'm going back to freaking Sydney! How is that a bad thing? But as someone astutely pointed out, Sydney for me is not the Sydney for most Americans; for me, it no longer holds the mystique of some sort of exotic locale. Now it's just home, and that's never very exciting.

Anyway. Back to the trip. It was great. Or pick your own favorite synonym. That's what it was. Some highlights, with potentially more detail to follow in later posts:

LA, Part I - Spent an impossibly long day on August 1 (41 hours with the time change) helping Vern shop for a dress. Then her pseudo 30th birthday on Saturday. Gian Paolo said my name about 18 times.

New York - Started off with a miserable day of travel. (Yeah, definitely a separate post on this.) Much, much good food. Many good nights. A ridiculous Thursday that included a Mets game, pitch and putt, and the Astoria beer garden, with far too many beers at each stop. Paid for this consumption on Friday morning. Great night on Saturday. (Yeah, there will also be another post on this.) And a great night of wine tasting and feasting with the one, the only, Bubbles.

Martha's Vineyard - A week that should have been full of relaxing turned into many nights of alcohol. (Again, not that I'm overwhelmed with regret.) Highlighted by Friday night, when the 20 somethings got into a raucous game of flip cup... with my 70 year old uncle. Sailing the sunfish. Eating lobster and clams. Getting some relaxing in on the beach. And the biggest birthday cake you've ever seen.

LA, Part II - A quintessentially American dinner of hot dogs, coleslaw and baked beans. And a final day with Bay Cities and Father's Office. Oh ma gourd.

A 14-hour flight later, and I'm back in Sydney. At least physically. Mentally, my brain is nowhere to be found, for the jet lag is killing me. Killing me. Hence the "bleh". Just finished my second day of work and I'm not sure I could be more useless.

But despite all the "bleh", it still is good to be back. For I'm back to some normalcy and am in my new apartment, and I'm loving it.

For all those who I saw back in the States, it was great to see you. Wish I could have spent more time seeing and talking to everyone, but I guess that's the way it is. So whenever I'm back again, whether that's in April (maybe) or next August (at the latest), we'll just have to do it again.

The Kleingaroo has landed

It was a beast of a flight, my back was killing me the whole way and I hardly got any sleep, but I've made it to LA!

I've only been here for 9 hours so far, but I have to say it's already been absolutely fantastic. Great weather, and great to spend the day with Hannah and Vern, even if they essentially dragged me around to shop for a dress for Vern's 30th birthday party tomorrow night. I guess that's just the price of admission for the party, which oddly has a Ja-Mexican theme. Yeah, that's right -- part Jamaican, part Mexican. I don't know.

I'm currently on what's probably my eighth wind of the day, and that's sure to fade in an hour or so. Gonna be fantastic to get some quality sleep.

Pumped for this weekend, pumped for next week in New York, pumped for the following week on Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, it's fair to say I'm pumped.

July is the new July

Well how cute is that! No, July is not the new September or November or May, just like pink isn't the new white or something like that. I mean, right? This copy is in white. This copy is in pink. How are these colors the same???? Despite whatever Vogue or Cosmo try to tell you, they're not. So by the same deduction, it would stand to reason that July is simply... July.

What prompted this startling revelation, you ask? I just realized that today is the one year anniversary of my departure from New York. So just over a year later, next Tuesday, I'll be making my triumphant return. For all y'all in the NYC, you get ready now, y'hear?

Back in America

Spending a lazy, weekend day channel surfing a few months ago, I came across European Vacation. And for the umpteenth* time, I got sucked in. And why not? It's a classic.

*As I typed that word for the, uhhhhh, umpteenth time, I realized I have no idea what it means. I mean, I know what it means. But what is that? What a strange word! Has anyone ever wondered where it came from??**

**Ah. Here we are. A wiki yet again comes to the rescue.

What really struck a chord with me, and what I had completely forgotten from all previous viewings, were the closing credits. For although about 94 of prior 95 minutes of the movie take place in Europe, the closing credits are an unquestionable ode to America, with Network's Back in America blaring as quintessentially American images and icons are displayed on the screen.



And despite being a great song that's accompanied by an even better montage of images, this struck me as odd. Insanely odd. A movie that's 100% about a family's trip Europe, and the credits are about being back in America??!? Really? I mean, I guess I get the point. You can travel the world, see amazing places, meet new people, experience cultures that you'd otherwise never be exposed to, but in the end, there's no place like home, right? And I understand that. For home -- however you want to define it -- is great.

But. BUT. I think there's still the implication that the Griswolds found no redeeming qualities in Europe. I mean, watch that movie again. No, really, go ahead, watch it! I'll wait.

(Waiting...)

(Waiting...)

(Almost there...)

(Just about done...)

Okay, good. So what happened there? They went to Europe, they made jackasses of themselves, they slept on uncomfortable beds, they ran over a few English dudes, they ruined a beer festival, they generally had a miserable time... and all they came back with was an appreciation for each other? It was otherwise all for nothing?

Or do those credits go further, and are they possibly meant to mean more than this??? Because I think they may. As in: We rule, you suck. It's our world, you're just living in it. We're big, you're small. Just look at our big muscles, our big buildings, our big boobs, our big roads, our big signs, our big STARS AND STRIPES. America. Fuck yeah.

Seriously. Watch the video again. Then have a look at the poster for the movie.

Now, when deconstructing art of any kind, I generally like to be careful about reading too far in between the lines, because sometimes I feel like we're so intent on anointing someone as a genius that we'll find any tiny little clue to say, Yes! Look what they've done here! Brilliant!, even if the symbol or sequence of events or whatever that someone thinks they've found was never actually a conscious decision by the author/musician/painter/etc. But in this case? We're hardly reading between the lines. These are the closing freaking credits! Francis Ford Coppola began Apocalypse Now with The Doors' This is the End for a reason. And I contend that Amy Heckerling -- the director of European Vacation and a bona fide filmmaker -- also made quite the deliberate choice to end the movie this way.

I don't know. It's a bit odd, and almost disconcerting. It's as if you can point to those credits, in the context of the larger movie, and use them as Exhibit 1A for American arrogance. (With this being Exhibit 1B.)

But you know what? Despite all the misgivings I'm perceiving here, despite all the Haterade that you may think I'm showering on Heckerling, well, I still love those credits. Love them. They get me pumped. America, baby!

And even more so than that, I can relate to the "no place like home" sentiment. For after ten and a half months, come this Friday, I'm coming back to America. Albeit it's not a real coming back, as I'm only going to be there for three weeks, but still.

LA starting this Friday. August 1 to 5.

New York from August 5 to 12.

Martha's Vineyard from August 12 to 19.

LA again from August 19 to 23.

If you're in any of these locations during these dates -- hell, if you're within five hundred miles of any of these locations during these dates -- I expect to see you.

Back in America. Fuck yeah.

AK All Day Face: The turncoat

The turncoat (photo: Droid)

Yeah, I'm wearing an Australian flag hat, big whoop! What you gonna do, you wanna fight about it?

I should also note that earlier on the day that this photo was taken, somewhere down on the beach below, three of my friends -- who may or may not have consumed quite a few beverages of the alcoholic persuasion -- had to be saved by lifeguards when the riptide carried them and their kayak out to sea. Which meant that for the next few days, they may or may not have heard about it from the rest of us. Repeatedly.

Yeah, that was a good weekend.

The vitals
Title: The turncoat
Subject: AK
Face: The jubilation
Location: MacMasters Beach NSW

Bringing it full circle

Since I moved out of my parents' house in September 1999, I haven't lived in one place for any longer than two years. In fact, by my count, I've lived in 11 different places for at least three months each in five different cities, with a few more one or two month stays in various places sprinkled in for good measure.

And I hate it. No, the track record would seem to indicate otherwise, but it's true: I hate it. Really. I'm a creature of habit, a creature of simplicity. The way I see it, why should you up and move if you've found a comfortable place that you enjoy? And many of the places in which I've lived in the last decade have fit that bill. But still, I've managed to find my way into 11 places during this time, and each time I made a move, I guess I had my reasons.

Just like I have my reasons this time. Because yes, I'm moving again. Out of the amazing house in Maroubra and bringing it all full circle back to the apartment in Kensington that I stayed in when I first came to Sydney over ten months ago. For one of my friends is moving out of the apartment to travel the world, and my other three friends asked me -- nay, they begged me -- to move in. And being the great guy that I am, I obliged.

The last time I moved, you may remember I was torn between going to my current house in Maroubra and the house of some other friends in Kensington. Fortunately, in hindsight, I nailed that choice. NAILED it. For I've absolutely loved living in the palace in Maroubra for the last five months: great housemates, great house, great location. And my other friends in the house in Kensington? They got booted out of the place a month ago. Which would have left me up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle.

This time, when the opportunity presented itself, it also was no easy decision. Because as I said above, I love the house in Maroubra. But was this decision as difficult? No way. These are my best friends in Sydney, and that's a trump card that will overcome all. So come August 24, I come full circle, almost a year after I first came here. And I'm pumped.

AK All Day Face: The MCG

The MCG (photo: Akka)

The Melbourne Cricket Ground. The spiritual center (centre?) of Australian cricket. And Aussie Rules Football. My excitement -- as it generally is with the AK All Day Face -- is apparent.

When I wrote of my trip to Melbourne in February, the MCG held the record for hosting the largest crowd to ever watch a baseball game, during the 1956 Olympics. But no more! For when the Los Angeles Coliseum hosted the Dodgers and Red Sox in an exhibition game just over a month after this photo was taken, it broke the record by about 1,300 people. And seeing as baseball is, you know, an American sport, well, that seems right.

The vitals
Title: The MCG
Subject: AK
Face: The jubilation
Location: Melbourne VIC