We all slowly got up, and miraculously, for a group that's notoriously slow at mobilizing, we were on our way by 10:30. This would be a big day, with most of the Decathlon's events taking place. So let's get to it!!
Event #3: Test Match Pokies
A holdover from last year, this is pretty much a game of luck. Put a dollar in a pokie (for the uninitiated, basically a slot machine), set the spins to one cent each, and hold down the spin button. First person to $2 receives top score, second person gets next highest, and so on. On the other side, first person to $0 receives lowest score, second person gets next lowest, and so on.
The first person to make it to one of these extremes did it at the high end, with $2. (As Shorty so simply put it: It takes at least 100 spins to get to $0. To get to $2, all it takes is one spin.) Then, the bleeding began, with one person after another bottoming out at $0.
I managed to tread water for a bit after this, and was actually the last person standing, thus earning 9 points. I think it's quite telling that of the 11 of us competing in this event, only two made it to $2. Everyone else lost their dollar.
Event #4: Mini Golf
Another holdover from last year, and it worked pretty much as you'd guess -- points awarded based on final scores.
The highlights here were our copious attempts to psych each other out and our quickly-established rule that you had to play the ball wherever it lied. And we took that rule as literally as possible, as several people managed to hit the ball off the course. This included my horribly errant first and second shots on the 13th hole that I somehow salvaged with miraculous third shot. Look at this beauty:
Don't bother asking how my ball got there in the first place. Just know that I finished with five for the hole. And a 44 for the course, which was good for 8 points in the event. (First place, by the way? That would be Joe, who did it in 32 strokes. That's 1.78 strokes per hole!!)
Event #5: RSLten30
Yet another holdover from last year. Back we went to the RSL, which features all sorts of gambling options, from pokies to keno to sports betting to electronic blackjack. The goal here is simple: over the course of 30 minutes, gamble $10 however you'd like. That could be 1000 one-cent spins on the pokies, that could be ten $1 keno bets, that could be a single $10 bet on some greyhounds.
I made a beeline for the electronic blackjack. It's what I played last year, it's what I'm comfortable with, it's what I know. I sat down, started playing $1 hands, and started winning. One simple hot streak later and I had myself over $60.
A final amount of $63.50 won me the event. Easily. In fact, the combined total of everyone else's money at the end of the event was $62.45. I beat the entire rest of group! Not only good times, not only a win in the event, but that's a cool profit of $53.50. First income I've had in over three months!
Event #6: Fumblers All-Rounder
A completely new event this year, and one that was pretty much entirely about cricket. This is a cricket trip after all, so we figured that it would only make sense to actually incorporate some, you know, cricket.
This was an obstacle course, with each person getting fully padded up in cricket gear and navigating the course as quickly as possible. Fastest time, including some deductions that could be achieved on the course, would win the event. The course went as follows:This event turned out to be a highlight. And in case my description above doesn't make any sense, here's a video of Shorty taking on the course:
- Spin around ten times.
- Do three runs.
- Bowl three balls at a target, with each hit of the target earning you a five second deduction.
- Crawl under some rope.
- Hit a ball as far as possible, with time deductions awarded based on distance hit.
- Throw a ball at a wicket from no closer than five meters.
- Time stops when wicket is hit.
Including time deductions, the winning time was 52.1 seconds. I finished in 1:38.1, which was good for six points. Not great, but I'll take it.
At this point, we took a break, went back to our rooms, reenergized, and met an hour or two later for the award presentations and some more events before heading out for the night.
Event #7: Scarf & Scull
Adding a new twist to our sculling event from last year, the task for this event was simple: scull a beer and eat a Harry's meat pie as quickly as possible, in whatever order you prefer. Fastest time wins.
Going into the Decathlon, I knew this would be one of my weaker events. I came in dead last in the sculling event last year, finishing a single beer in a pathetic 40 seconds,* and over the last few years, I've become a pretty slow eater. A good combination for this event, that does not make.
*However, let it be known that had I not been taunted during last year's sculling event, which at multiple times forced me to laugh, I would have finished a good ten seconds faster. Which, ummmm, still would have placed me in last place. Anyway.
We drew our names out of a hat to determine order, and I unluckily came out first. So after some mental preparation time, I stood over the beer and pie. And the clock began.
Total time, sans glorious belch? 1:44.4. The bar had been set. I knew many would beat it. The real question was, how many wouldn't?
(And let the record show that that was Harry's Pie #2 for the weekend. Your basic beef pie.)
Shorty, he of the four second scull last year, took down the event this year in an impressive 47.9 seconds.
However, no one provided more theatrics than Lam, who caught us all off guard with his hysterically unorthodox approach.
In the end, I did better than expected, with three people taking longer than me! So I finished with four points on the event, which I was more than happy to take.
Event #8: Snellfinger
A classic from last year, this event again didn't disappoint. And like my blog post last year, I'm not even gonna try to explain this game. It's impossible to do so in words. But it's very easy to pick up, and once you get the hang of it, it's insanely fun and addictive.
I won this event and netted myself another cool 12 points. Things were looking up for ol' AK!
And with that, we were ready to head out for the night! We had a few more beers, killed a bottle of bourbon and departed the apartments to take on the last event of the day.
Event #9: BAC & Yak
What's more fun than being able to quantify exactly how drunk you are, right? Juvenile? Yes. Hilarious? YES.
We'd been drinking a lot by the time we made it to this event. And it absolutely showed in our scores, as we put those from last year to shame. First place? Shorty, with a 0.312!! Last year's winning score was a 0.253, and besides Shorty, two other people from this year topped it! I wasn't one of them, but ended up blowing a 0.205 -- nearly 50% higher than the 0.140 that I blew last year.
It should be noted that my 0.205 was good for seven points... which was exactly how many points I got in this event last year! Yup, this year, we were all 50% drunker.
Throughout the BAC & Yak, a few bouncers began to congregate around us, as they quickly understood that we may have had a bit too much to drink. And as soon as we were done with the event, they politely suggested that maybe we should leave. Which we were more than happy to do; our day's work for the Decathlon was done!
We headed to a different bar, which was actually the one that I was not-so-kindly thrown out of last November. I've held a grudge to this day, so when I was thrown out again this time -- although no physical abuse on this occasion -- I was more than happy to leave. That's when I ran into Shorty, who had also been asked to vacate the premises, and who was very clearly showing the effects of his 0.312. (For the record, here's a nice little chart of what you can expect to feel at different BACs. We ticked most of these boxes. Although for Shorty and his level in the 0.30-0.39 range, I guess not the "death possible" one.)
You know what comes next, right? Yup -- Harry's! That would be Pie #3, and this time, a Tiger Pie: a beef pie with mashed potato, mashed peas and gravy. My lord.
Everything else is a blur. We ran into a few more people. Shorty realized that he had lost his wallet. We eventually headed back to the apartments. And oh yeah, and we got some more chips on the way back.
Fantastic day. Everything went off without a hitch. Heck, I even viewed being thrown out of that last bar as a good thing! So I went to sleep content, ready to wrap it all up in the morning and crown a new winner of the Decathlon.
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