He hate me?

As I've referenced a few times in recent posts, Justin is currently visiting me here. And as I wrote in my last post, while I've been at work during the day this week, he's been off exploring. Innocent comment, right? No possible way to interpret malice, right? Well. Well. WELL. Sometime yesterday, Justin read that post. And despite all the graciousness and generosity that I've showered on him the last few days, that delusional man somehow misconstrued what I wrote to mean that I hated having him here.

WELL.

Well.

WELL.

You know what Justin? Get out of my damned country!

A farewell to 2008

It’s December 18... and yes, I'm bidding my farewell to 2008. For although there's still two weeks left in the year, this will almost certainly be my last chance to post here.

It was a good year. An active year. A year full of the new and unexpected. Consider:

• I settled into my job;
• I moved houses;
• I made several trips of varying lengths, both domestically and back to the US;
• I inexplicably found an appreciation for cricket;
• I pulled off what may be my proudest accomplishment ever with the Fumblers-B Newy Decathlon;
• I moved houses again;
• I found out that I'm going to lose my job and commenced what has so far been a fruitless search for a new one;
• I screwed up my ankle;
• I grew a moustache;
• And I put on Thanksgiving... in December.

Yes, it was a good year, albeit with varying degrees of tumult. And I'm proud of all I that accomplished. But there's more!! For there's a reason why I won’t be able to post on here for the next few weeks, and it's definitely not because I'm gonna be sitting on my ass.

As you may know, Justin has been here since last weekend. And so far, it's been good. As we might say, VAR good. Plenty of adventures, including Justin’s initiation into the strange, hostile world of Australian bouncers.* But while we've been going out each night this week, I've been working during the day. This is unfortunate. However, after tomorrow, that all changes. For my office will close its doors for two weeks, and I will be free!! What will I/we be up to?

*I'm in no mood to get into this at the moment. Maybe another day. Maybe not.

December 20 to 24 - Justin and I go to Byron Bay, about nine hours north of Sydney. There will be beaches. There will be festiveness. There will be hoolbool.

December 24 to 25 - Justin heads back off to the US, and I spend Christmas at MacMasters Beach with my friend/roommate Yogi and his family. You may recall that I also spent Australia Day Weekend at MacMasters.

December 26 - Yogi and I drive down to Wagga Wagga, home town of Shorty, one of our other roommates. Wagga Wagga also holds the distinction of being the largest inland city in Australia. You know, just in case they ask that in your next trivia night.

December 27 - We -- and I have zero idea who "we" will be -- all head down to Melbourne. I have no idea where I’ll be sleeping this night.

December 28 - A group of us will spend a looooonnnnnng day at the Melbourne Cricket Ground for Day 3 of the Boxing Day Test Match between Australia and South Africa. This will be a wild day. A REAL wild day. I have no idea where I'll be sleeping this night, either.

December 29 to January 1 - A large group of us will drive part of the Great Ocean Road (just done with the parents a few weeks earlier) to spend three loooooooonger days at The Falls Music & Arts Festival. We'll be camping out, watching a crap load of live music, taking horrible care of ourselves, getting no sleep, and on the last night, bringing in 2009.* Sounds fantastic, right?**

*It will HAVE to be better than how I brought in 2008, right?

**The funny part is, if you know me AT ALL, you'd know this is not my type of thing. Camping out at a three-day music festival?? Yeah, well, I don't know. But I'm psyched.

January 1 to ?? - We -- again, no clue who "we" will be -- head back to Sydney. I have zero idea how this will be accomplished, how long it will take or how many stops (if any) we'll make along the way. But sometime between the 1st and the 4th, I'll make my way back to Sydney.

Should be a fantastic few weeks, with plenty of nonstop action. So I'll take this opportunity to bid adieu to 2008, and I will see you in 2009! Have a great holiday season, everyone.

Thanksgiving in December

For Thanksgiving last year, my friend Katie, a fellow American, hosted myself and about a dozen others for a big feast. My contribution to the meal was my first-ever pumpkin pie, and as you might recall, tracking down the canned pumpkin puree turned out to be quite the adventure. Because God forbid I make my own pumpkin puree.

This year, I saw that pumpkin pie -- as they'd say in poker -- and then raised the stakes. Significantly. For a few weeks ago, I decided that I would host my own feast for a group of ten or so, and that I would make the lion's share of the dishes. What gave me the naive audacity that I could take on such a challenge, I'm not sure. For putting on the feast proved to be a beast. Consider the lead-up to the meal, which I hosted somewhat belatedly this past Sunday:

Sunday prior
After lengthy consultations with my mom (who was fortunately in the country at the time), I determined my menu: turkey, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, stuffed sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie and pecan pie. Note, this is only what I was making for a group that started off as ten and ultimately reduced to seven. Others would be bringing more dishes: cheese, crackers, appetizers, lemon meringue pie and ice cream.

Monday
Located what were possibly the last two cans of pumpkin puree in Sydney. It's one thing to find pumpkin puree in Sydney at some random time of the year. For a real challenge, try finding some cans the week after Thanksgiving, when expat Americans have horded them by the dozen. Fortunately, after searching far and wide for the puree last year, I established some connections and was able to secure and order two cans for myself.

Wednesday
Picked up said cans of pumpkin puree.

Friday
The big grocery shop. My shopping list? Compiled as an Excel spreadsheet that itemized and aggregated every ingredient from each of the dishes that I was making. (Yes, I am a nerd.) I think I can very safely say that I've never bought so much food on my own in one outing.

Saturday
Started the day with a cricket match and actually matched my all-time high score, with nine runs.* Then I rented a costume for my agency's Christmas party.** And then I came home to prep some dishes and bake the pies. This took the rest of the day.

*That high score, which I set in my first ever match and recapped in this post, coincidentally came against the same team and on the same exact weekend a year ago.

**The theme of this party? The Mad Hatters Tea Party. The costume? The Ace of Hearts. Will there be pictures? Maybe.

Sunday
Got up around 8, somewhat hung over from a house party the previous night, and was at it the rest of the day. First, the stuffing. Then, the green bean casserole. Then, the stuffed sweet potatoes. And then, as the potatoes were cooking, I had a bit of a panic attack when, speaking to my mom on the phone (who's now back in LA), she expressed pure bewilderment that I hadn't started the turkey yet. Andy, a turkey takes forever to cook! Needless to say, my confidence was shaken. Because when my mom speaks on the topic of cooking, you listen. So I rushed the potatoes, tossed the turkey in the oven and, well, two hours later, behold:

It turned out freaking perfect. At just about the time we planned to sit down.

The rest of the dishes? Freaking perfect! Here's a plate with turkey, stuffing and green bean casserole:

And here's a plate with the three pies (lemon meringue, pecan and pumpkin):

Freaking yum.

I couldn't move for the rest of the day, partly because I'm not sure I've ever eaten so much food in my life* and partly because that cooking sapped all my energy. Do I have a newfound appreciation for someone who can pull off a feast like that? Absolutely. Was it worth the effort? Yeah, I think so. Will I do it again next year? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. For now, it's leftovers for the next few weeks!

*Well, except for this.

Aussies and their "little" alter egos

Okay. I'm not sure what's going on with advertising agencies in Australia these days,* but they appear to be fascinated with giving alter egos to genatalia. If you remember this post from a little over a year ago, you'll recall the below bewildering and ridiculous ad about erectile dysfunction:


*The irony being, of course, that I work for an ad agency. So logically, you'd think that I would know what's going on here. Sadly, no.

Now, we have our response for the ladies, with the below ad. I first saw this in the cinema with my parents, waiting for Australia to start. Awkwaaaaaard...



And this last one is apropos to nothing (besides the fact that it's Aussie-made), but, well, as a red-blooded male, I believe it's my duty to share it with the rest of the world.

There is a god. Elle be thy name.


Holy. Schnikes.

Back to normalcy?

It's been an interesting and strange few weeks. My Mo (finally, mercifully) filled in. The parents came into town. The parents left town. I rejoined the parents in Melbourne. We did the Great Ocean Road from Monday to Wednesday. We came back to Sydney.* We went to see Australia.** We did a wine tasting trip on Saturday. And then on Sunday, the parents left.

*After taking the first three days of the week off, I worked, ironically, on Thursday and Friday. The opposite of all you people in the US.

**Australia in Australia! Har har har!

Two notable photos from the Great Ocean Road:

"We'll get him when he comes back in!"
"He's not coming back."

My Mo and the 12 Apostles.

Having the parents here went pretty much as I expected; a range of emotions throughout their visit. It was great, it was frustrating, it was embarrassing (mostly when my dad tried to pull off a ridiculous Aussie accent), it was a welcome escape from my routine, it was exhausting. And although I admittedly felt some relief to see them off on Sunday, I immediately felt guilt. Could we have done more? Should I have let some of the more trivial things get me frustrated? This is how a visit from my parents usually goes.

Anyway, I'm back! Maybe. Movember's over, so no more daily emails to distract me. And as the parents are gone, there will be no more long days with them. Instead, I can put my head down and work, continue to search for a new job and, theoretically, post more frequently on this thing. That is, although, until I host a belated Thanksgiving meal this Sunday, then my office Christmas party the following Thursday, and then that Saturday, Justin arrives for two weeks! So, ummmm, I'm not back? Let's just put more emphasis on that "maybe" qualifier and hope for the best.