Avatar: Surely this is all a big joke

In high school, I went to the movies practically every weekend. I loved going to the movies.

In college, I went to the movies once a month, maybe once every two months. I guess I had a few more options to entertain myself. It happens as we exit our teenage years.

Since college, my movie-going has been in constant decline. And now it's gotten to the point where I might go two or three times a year. I find this sad, but only really upon reflection, because I certainly don't do anything to change it.

Avatar broke a loooonnnng movie theater-less streak for me. Before that, I'm really not sure what I'd last seen in a theater. Slumdog Millionaire? It's a distinct possibility. But with Avatar, well, all the makings were there for a mandatory visit to the movies. Based on all the reviews – from critics and friends alike – it promised to be a spectacle of grandiose proportions.

I was not disappointed. Everything I expected from Avatar, I got, and then some. It was truly a cinematic experience; no way you could get that from watching it on a TV, as I generally watch movies these days. Hell, I was so spellbound, that halfway through the movie, I realized my eyes were tearing up because I hadn't blinked in probably half an hour.

It was a great experience. And it even may have rekindled some of that love of the movie-going experience that I'd held so deeply back in high school.

But then, at least to me, a strange and perplexing and infuriating thing happened: serious accolades for Avatar began to come in. As in, 'Best Picture of the Year' accolades. This of course culminated (at least up until now) in the film winning the Golden Globe for best picture (drama) – not to mention best director – on Sunday.

Now. It's one thing for a film to be entertaining, to be visually stunning, to be revolutionary in its production. Avatar was all of these. I'd go as far as to say that that's an inarguable fact. Yet a great movie, these qualities don't necessarily make. Merely a good movie, these qualities don't necessarily make. And as much as I enjoyed Avatar, it's borderline good. That's simply what happens when you take a tired, formulaic story and combine it with some of the most hackneyed, clichéd dialogue imaginable.*

*Back in December, before the movie had been released, Joe Posnanski actually devoted an entire blog post to one line of dialogue from the trailer... a line of dialogue that we're all very familiar with. Needless to say, Posnanski wasn't impressed and wrote off the movie based on that one line.

(I'll also note that Posnanski starts that post in a very similar fashion to how I've started this one. But I'm gonna plead innocent; unless it was subconscious – and I guess I have to concede that that's a distinct possibility – it's completely coincidental.)

What's really sad to me is that we've been down this road before with James Cameron's last epic, Titanic. Visually stunning and supremely well-made? Yes. But a tired and formulaic story combined with some of the most hackneyed, clichéd dialogue imaginable? Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.

Titanic swept all the award shows. And now I fear that Avatar is going to do the same.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my interpretation of what should constitute a 'Best Picture'. All three Lord of the Rings movies were at least nominated for the Oscar for best picture (with the third installment winning), and while I only saw the first one, I thought that it too fell into the well-made/crap story bucket. (I'm assuming – although potentially very wrongly – that the last two of the trilogy were similar in style and content.) But I look at other Oscar winners from the past, and just about every one is backed by a great and compelling story. Let me repeat that, with some emphasis: a GREAT and compelling story.

In my opinion, Titanic is the rare exception to this rule. I'm guessing that LOTR III is as well. And if Avatar wins the Best Picture Oscar – currently a prohibitive favorite to do so – that'll be one more exception.

Three exceptions to a rule aren't exactly an exception anymore; they become part of the rule. But if a movie only has to be well-made to be considered great, well, then I'm not sure what we're doing anymore.

I'm not saying there isn't a place for movies like Avatar. Of course there's a place for them. There will always be a place for them, and I consider this to be a very good thing. But is one of those places the Golden Globes, or the Oscars? No. Never.

I wish the voters would come to their senses in time for this year's Oscars and deny Avatar the biggest of accolades, but I don't expect that to happen. Maybe it's all just a big joke on me.