I need a backiotomy

Or at least that's what Sir-Smoke-Alot would probably tell me. Because right now, my back is killing me.

Twice during college, my back freaked out and went into spasms. I remember both times vividly:

1. Sophomore year. While talking to a TA after a lecture, I innocently reached down to pick up my backpack. As I lifted it up, my back seized up and screamed out, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I practically had to crawl back to my apartment.
2. Senior year. At my job as a valet parker, I dropped some keys and simply reached down to pick them up. And again, even with such a simple motion, my back would have none of it. Somehow, someway, I made it through the rest of my shift, whimpering in pain each time I stepped into and out of a car.

Both times, I spent the majority of the next week popping pain killers and muscle relaxers like they were Skittles and lying on hard surfaces, wherever I could find one. Bless my parents for passing on the "shit back" gene.

So ever since then, I've fairly religiously stretched out my back at least once a day. And it clearly has worked, for I'd never again experienced anything to the same degree... until Saturday morning. For playing in the field during a cricket match, a ball was hit in my direction. I chased it down, and as I bent over to pick it up, well, if you don’t see where this is going...

That was three days ago. And today, I'm still hobbling around, hunched over like an 80-year-old man. It stinks.