Sunday, October 21, 2007

The "I feel ten pounds lighter without my pathetic excuse for a beard" quick hits edition

Yes, due to my lack of need to look presentable for the last few weeks, I stopped shaving and grew what one might consider to be a beard. We -- the beard and I, that is -- had a love/hate thing going on, with the hate ultimately winning out. I'll look fondly back upon my beard of October 2007, but it was time for it to go.

I can't stress enough how pleasant it's been for the last week to not be living out of a suitcase. Since leaving New York, I haven't consistently lived in one place until now, and the simple ability to unpack my things and know that I won't need to pack them again for quite some time has been fantastic. Clothes in a drawer! It's so luxurious!

Went to a trivia night with some friends the other day, and we ended up winning $30. Instead of splitting the loot, we thought it would be best to press our earnings with some gambling. So we split the $30 equally and tried our luck at slot machines (aka pokies), keno and dog races. Roughly twelve seconds later, we were penniless. Ah, the joys of gambling.

Yes, it would be nice to change the title of these things from "quick hits" to something else because it's not a very original name, but perhaps more importantly, I've realized that these hits aren't really quick. In fact, given a blank page, I'm fairly incapable of not expounding on any topic. A term such as "ramblings" might be more appropriate, but that's already been claimed by someone who hasn't rambled since August 19, 2005.

We have two suggestions for a different name so far, and they both incorporate my last name. Fantastic. Anyway, "throwin' Kleinballs" intrigues me. For those who don't know what the Kleinball is (and that would be everyone who didn't live at 115 St Marks Place, Apt 11, circa 2005 to 2007), it's my age-old theory that there's another baseball pitch out there that's yet to be discovered. Some say it's impossible. I say -- nay, insist -- that it's out there. And with the emergence of Daisuke Matsuzaka's gyroball in the last two years, I'd like to claim some level of victory here.

Kleingaroo pellets might be a little more topical, but then again, the word "pellet" suggests a small dose, and as I've established above, I'm not capable of that. Maybe Kleingaroo turds? But then that's just too graphic.

I'll make a decision by next time. Maybe Throwin' Kleingaroo Turds?

Ummm, no.

3 comments:

Robert said...

Hey, Jack Hanna, Kleingaroo pellets ARE turds. Like rabbit pellets. Or, oh I don't know, KANGAROO pellets. See, "Kleingaroo" is actually a play on your last name AND the word "kangaroo!" Jeez, Andy.

Now that I've belittled you, you have to pick "Kleingaroo pellets," right? Right?!

Andy said...

Hey, Hannah Montana, if you read closely, you'll see that I understand all of that. It's just that pellets are generally small, and as discussed, I'm incapable of writing in small doses. Thus my suggestion of turds, which are generally larger. (Am I really writing this right now?) And I get the Kleingaroo mish mash as well, thus my comment that that suggestion is more topical than "Throwin' Kleinballs". Jeez, Berto.

Robert said...

Ah. Duly noted. But isn't the idea that these are supposed to be quick hits? Supposed to be small doses? If they're supposed to be medium-sized doses, wouldn't that take away everything inherent in a "quick hits" edition? Then it's just thoughts, right? Kleingaroo Thoughts? Not as fun. I need to get out of the house.