Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Thou shalt not annoy

Catholic schoolgirls. The uniform's what does it for me. I wish I had've went with more Catholic schoolgirls when I was a kid. As it stands I have no, "And then she unzipped her jumper," stories.
      - Banky Edwards

If Banky Edwards were not a fictional character in what may still stand as my favorite movie of all time,* he'd be hightailing it to Sydney this week. For World Youth Day starts tomorrow.** And it's going to be big. REAL big. With apparently -- and I really have trouble believing this -- more people in the city than during the 2000 Olympics.

*I find this insanely impossible to wrap my head around, but Chasing Amy is over ten years old. And right now, I'm probably about as old as Holden and Banky and co were in that movie. I mean... yikes.

**It's called World Youth Day, but it runs from Tuesday to Sunday. I don't know.

Up until I moved here, I'd never heard of World Youth Day. So for those who are equally as ignorant as I was, it's basically this huge Church-organized event that happens every two or three years during which Catholic youths from all around the world come together to, uhhhh, do whatever it is that Catholic youths do. Rebel? I'm not entirely sure.

So some half million sexually repressed youths descend on Sydney tomorrow, the Pope comes on Thursday to do a little boat-a-cade on the Harbour, and then he's gonna speak to all the kiddies on Sunday. Which, on its own, sets the stage for what should be an interesting week.

And then the Australian government decided to make matters even more interesting. For they recently passed some legislation for the week that expressly prohibits non-pilgrims (also known as, you know, the actual tax payers and citizens of Sydney) from "annoying" pilgrims. Yes, that is actual legislation. I cannot "annoy" a pilgrim. Unless I feel like spending the night in jail.

For the moment, let's blindly accept the absurd premise of this law -- that in a free society, it's illegal to annoy someone -- and get to a more basic question: What's the legislation's definition of "annoy"? Because as far as anyone can tell -- and this is what has most of us non-pilgrims (or, you know, the actual tax payers and citizens of Sydney) so confused -- there is no black and white definition. But examples such as passing out condoms to pilgrims, wearing shirts that may be deemed as offensive to pilgrims or giving freaking water to pilgrims have been bandied about, and the powers that be have judged that in each of these cases, yes, this would cause annoyance to a pilgrim and would thus subject you to said night in jail.

Top this off with massive road closures throughout the city to allow the pilgrims to wander around, a public transportation system that will most certainly be brought to its knees, and we have the makings for quite the interesting week. If only Banky could witness.

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